Check.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
results are in
I don't think anyone is reading this but Kari, and she already knows, but just in case...I will update you. For those of you who are shy or squeamish, beware, because it's about to get real up in here about my lady business.
My doctor just called me. My Prolactin (sp?) levels are elevated. Apparently, it's a hormone produced by a pituitary gland at the base of your brain. Women who are breast feeding produce a lot of it; it's natures way of preventing pregnancy. Apparently, elevated levels of Prolactin are a side effect of my seizure medication. It's the reason for my absent period, my hair loss, increased seizure activity, worsening acne and other things going on. So, he wants me to get an MRI. My brain is so much fun!
Now I just have to try and get my neurologist to listen to me. Apparently, he's brilliant, but he doesn't listen to a word I, or anyone else, says. Worse, he won't release me from his care so that I can switch doctors. How messed up is that? Apparently, it's very normal and it's how doctors protect themselves, but it reminds me of the Seinfield where Jerry wants to return a jacket out of spite, but they won't accept that as a reason. "We don't accept returns for spite." My doctor won't release me from his care because, "I'm unhappy with my care" isn't an acceptable reason. They want me to give him one more try, and if I'm still unhappy, then they will. It's very frustrating, because it's my body and my money. I shouldn't have to give him "one more try."
Once I do see a neurologist, I'm going to switch medications, even though the process terrifies me. (You know, the almost dying thing when I OD'd and went into a coma.) It seems like every five years my medicine starts attacking my body-- ruining my liver, giving me Lupus, and now this.
Kari asked me if I was hoping or not hoping to see certain results, and I'm assuming she was politely asking if I wished I was pregnant, which I'm sure many of you do too, so here's my complicated answer. Whenever I'm even a day late I freak out. I start making lists of all the medication I've taken that day, then I have these terrible nightmares where I'm slowly poisoning my baby and his skull is slowly deforming and his skin turning into stone. They're horrifying.
What would I do if I was pregnant? I definitely wouldn't have an abortion. I would stop taking all my medications and try to carry the baby as long as I could before both or one of us died. Sigh. If only my husband was a vampire and could immortalize me at the last second. I guess that still wouldn't work though. Even vampires can't stop seizures.
So, when I take a pregnancy test and it's negative, I'm always relieved, but I always cry after too. It's just hard to know that I won't (and can't) ever see a little pink plus sign. That minus sign is just so depressing. When I was young I always imagined that I would tell my husband that we were pregnant by serving him a dinner of baby greens, baby roasted potatoes, baby carrots, and Cornish game hen. Then for dessert I would hide the positive pregnancy test under a silver serving platter with a domed lid. I think Becky did something like that on Full House when she told Jesse she was pregnant.
I suppose I could think of something like that to do when we have a birthmother, but if I find out first, I imagine it will go something like this: Me trying to call Spencer, but being so flustered I can't work my phone, then when I finally do: He'll say, "Hi, Babe. What's up?" and I'll say, "We... I... I... I... we..." which will be followed by uncontrollable sobbing and hyperventilation. I'll try and record it for you. ;)
My doctor just called me. My Prolactin (sp?) levels are elevated. Apparently, it's a hormone produced by a pituitary gland at the base of your brain. Women who are breast feeding produce a lot of it; it's natures way of preventing pregnancy. Apparently, elevated levels of Prolactin are a side effect of my seizure medication. It's the reason for my absent period, my hair loss, increased seizure activity, worsening acne and other things going on. So, he wants me to get an MRI. My brain is so much fun!
Now I just have to try and get my neurologist to listen to me. Apparently, he's brilliant, but he doesn't listen to a word I, or anyone else, says. Worse, he won't release me from his care so that I can switch doctors. How messed up is that? Apparently, it's very normal and it's how doctors protect themselves, but it reminds me of the Seinfield where Jerry wants to return a jacket out of spite, but they won't accept that as a reason. "We don't accept returns for spite." My doctor won't release me from his care because, "I'm unhappy with my care" isn't an acceptable reason. They want me to give him one more try, and if I'm still unhappy, then they will. It's very frustrating, because it's my body and my money. I shouldn't have to give him "one more try."
Once I do see a neurologist, I'm going to switch medications, even though the process terrifies me. (You know, the almost dying thing when I OD'd and went into a coma.) It seems like every five years my medicine starts attacking my body-- ruining my liver, giving me Lupus, and now this.
Kari asked me if I was hoping or not hoping to see certain results, and I'm assuming she was politely asking if I wished I was pregnant, which I'm sure many of you do too, so here's my complicated answer. Whenever I'm even a day late I freak out. I start making lists of all the medication I've taken that day, then I have these terrible nightmares where I'm slowly poisoning my baby and his skull is slowly deforming and his skin turning into stone. They're horrifying.
What would I do if I was pregnant? I definitely wouldn't have an abortion. I would stop taking all my medications and try to carry the baby as long as I could before both or one of us died. Sigh. If only my husband was a vampire and could immortalize me at the last second. I guess that still wouldn't work though. Even vampires can't stop seizures.
So, when I take a pregnancy test and it's negative, I'm always relieved, but I always cry after too. It's just hard to know that I won't (and can't) ever see a little pink plus sign. That minus sign is just so depressing. When I was young I always imagined that I would tell my husband that we were pregnant by serving him a dinner of baby greens, baby roasted potatoes, baby carrots, and Cornish game hen. Then for dessert I would hide the positive pregnancy test under a silver serving platter with a domed lid. I think Becky did something like that on Full House when she told Jesse she was pregnant.
I suppose I could think of something like that to do when we have a birthmother, but if I find out first, I imagine it will go something like this: Me trying to call Spencer, but being so flustered I can't work my phone, then when I finally do: He'll say, "Hi, Babe. What's up?" and I'll say, "We... I... I... I... we..." which will be followed by uncontrollable sobbing and hyperventilation. I'll try and record it for you. ;)
Thursday, February 23, 2012
chelsi lately
Life has been really busy lately. I've been meaning to paint my toenails for AT LEAST a month. I had a seizure, then it was Christmas, then I got bronchitis, then I made a cake, then we went on a road trip and I had another seizure and my friend surprised me with a visit, then I made more cakes, then one of my friends got engaged, then it was Valentines day, then we got free tix to a jazz game, then our friends went to the temple and now it's now and my toenails look awful still. Maybe if I wait a bit longer ALL the polish will chip off and I can save on remover. (Sidenote: I have clipped them.)
I'm still going to therapy every week. I think it's helping though it's hard to tell because lately something is off with my hormones so I've been having a hard time seizure-wise. I started taking frankincense oil today. It supposedly helps with seizure control. Watch a heart-wrenching video about it here: http://www.sharedoterra.com/wp-content/uploads/lacey.html
I went and got a bunch of bloodwork done to figure out what's going on. Don't worry I took four pregnancy tests. (All negative) I should be getting the results of my bloodwork any day now so say a little prayer! With my luck I am probably going through menopause.
Speaking of menopause, (not really) husband and I have been going on a lot of dates lately...another reason I really should paint my toenails. Since we moved in we kinda got away from having an official date night every week so that we could save for the baby. I was in a little funk so we splurged a bit this month. We're pretty broke now, but it was fun for a little bit. ;-)
I am so excited to go to Disneyland. I have my red pants but Mom says I have to wait till my birthday to wear them.
Also, I've read three really good books I'd like to recommend. The first two are a series by Richard Paul Evans called The Walk and Miles to Go. They are in journal format and without giving anything away, they are about this man with a perfect life who one day loses everything and has a complete breakdown and decides to walk across the continental US. It's about his journey, both physically and emotionally and all of these rad people he meets along the way. The third book comes out in April and I'm uber excited. (Sidenote II: I'm blogging from my phone and predictive text typed "ubersexual" when I typed "uber".....)
The third book is called Delirium by Lauren Oliver. It was fabulous too and also has a sequel making me wait till April. It is about a 17-year-old girl named Lena who lives in a society where when you are 18 you are "cured" and the part of your brain that allows you to love (and controls all other emotion) is removed. They view love, or delirium, an infectious disease and live in fear of it, anxiously awaiting the day of their procedures. But about two months before her's (or heterosexual according to my phone) Lena falls in looooove! It's very The Giver-esque; which is another fave of mine but with an aspect of forbidden love, which is the best kind. Read them. They're yummy.
(And for a third and final sidenote, but relating to the previous sidenote: The other day my friend was having a rough day so I texted her "I'm heterosexual if you need me." That's my new e-mail signature, right there, folks.)
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
My Wife = Wizard!
Hey Y’all, Spence here.
I know, I know… you knew it was coming.
On all of the mushy holidays you can guarantee that one of us will write a post that will make all of you gag. This one is going to be a bit different though.
On Saturdays I work a few hours in the morning at a plumbing shop (that I can’t seem to get away from.) My only co-worker is a guy named Scott. Scott is a 24 year old Marine who has already been on 3 combat tours. His time in the Marine Corps is coming to a close and he is beginning to focus on being a student (PolySci Major) and finding a wholesome girl to date and marry. We spend most of our Saturdays talking about politics and ideology but probably and equal amount of time is spent giving him advice on how NOT to be a DB; and how to navigate the dating world. Let me first say that I am not an expert on the subject because I didn’t have the greatest relationships in the world, but I DID manage to land the greatest wife on the planet. So I must have done something right. This past Saturday we were discussing our Valentine’s Day plans and our conversation turned into talking about all of the qualities we desire in our significant others.
These types of conversations always make me beam with pride because they basically end up being discussions where I make other men jealous by telling them how AMAZING my wife is. In our discussions we decided to compile a list of qualities that Scott could look for in a lady. Here is the top ten things we compiled about the kind of women we would want ( I have excluded some of the more crude (non-blog friendly) guy talk qualities)
Yesterday I was looking in my bag and I came across the list. So I began looking it over and comparing it to Chels:
1) Needs to find us irresistibly attractive. Chelsi (miraculously) finds me irresistibly attractive. Even with my crazy Zoolander hair! She took my picture and then said “You actually look really HOT!”… crazy.
2) Needs to make good arm candy. This goes without saying but Chelsi is the epitome of arm candy. She ALWAYS looks like a million bucks and is BY FAR the hottest girl I’ve ever dated (no offense exes who might be reading this)
3) Needs to think we are freakin hilarious. Chelsi definitely thinks I’m hilarious. She is always laughing at my lame attempts at jokes and she is always in the mood to be weird and crazy with me. Like my favorite gag to yell at her in public... trust me. It. Is. HILARIOUS!
4) Needs to appear innocent. When I first met Chels, I was quite the naughty boy. But immediately she was classified in the “Don’t drink or swear in front of” category. She was just too pure to be subjected to such filthy behavior.
5) Needs to be a freak behind closed doors. Stripper Pole. (enough said)
6) Needs to tolerate stupidity. The amount of stupidity that Chelsi tolerates is immeasurable. Let’s see there was the time where I ignored 2 Road Closed signs, only to put our car into a 3’ wide trench where the road was washed out. And let’s not forget the use of our student loan to buy ourselves a HUGE TV incident of 2008. Geez! And all of the stupidity that comes with being a Star Wars fan... Need I say more?
7) Needs to let us be men in all of our football watching, fighting chauvinistic glory. Chels always lets me be manly. That doesn’t mean I let loose belches and other bodily functions at any moment. But she has no problem watching college football every Saturday for 4 months. Or Baseball every night for an entire month (October is my FAVORITE!!!) And she is SUPER impressed with my limited athletic abilities. Namely the CANNON I have for an arm ;-)
8) She needs to not nag but but communicate effectively to get what she wants. Chelsi has never been the nagging type. From day 1 she was keen enough to realize that rather than complainingly asking me to do something that is a pain, if she wants something done, all she needs to do is come up to me with “the look” on her face and ask me to clean out the garage, vacuum the house, shake out the rugs, get out the totes for the current seasonal decor, take out the garbage and help fold the laundry. Done.
9) Needs to be hotter than our friends wives. Much like my exes, I hope none of my friend’s wives are offended by me saying that my wife definitely wins the hottest wife competition. All of my friends may have married up, but none of them married up like I did.
10) Needs to be able to hang out with the guys. From her first sentence to my friends upon meeting them, Chels had them wrapped around their finger. She had them laughing right out of the shoot with her, often unexpected, humor. They all think I am the luckiest guy on Earth. Those that are married are jealous. And those that are single are only single because they can't find a wife who is as awesome as Chelsi. How many wives can say that, on more than 1 occasion, they have received drunk texts from their husband’s friends at 3:00 am? True story.
Chelsi, you are unparalleled as the hottest, coolest, greatest, sexiest, strongest and most perfect wife this world has ever known. I know that we are struggling with missing our future babies, but I'm so glad that I have this opportunity to have you all to myself for a while. I love you endlessly and a want you to know how much I appreciate your determined effort to find a way to love me as much as I love you. You really are my other half, the exhale to my inhale, and I couldn't last ten seconds in this world without you. Happy Valentines Day Darling!
<3Spence
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
i'm going to disneyland!
Breaking news:
I am going to Disneyland on my birthday. Again...
I am going to Disneyland on my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so excited it is unbelievable. Kinda like Kristen Bell when she found out a sloth would be at her birthday party. Since 25, birthdays have become a little hard to handle. But 28 is going to be the BEST birthday EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And this is what I want to wear. I really want red pants. Really bad. I don't know why, exactly, I just do. And I found these at Charlotte Russe. I must buy them. (Digression: I already have the jacket, but it needed it to complete the ensemble in Polyvore. Further Digression: I made this set days ago and didn't know it posted to my blog. I always forget to uncheck the "blog it" button. So annoying. )
Not only do I get to go to Disneyland with my family on my birthday, but we get to stay in San Diego for four nights too. I also get to finally see my dear friend Megan Heavlin Ochoa, or MHO for short. You should sooo check out her music. She is amaze and on her way to fame and fortune. And I am proud to say that I knew her before she even knew how to play a guitar. I am equally excited to see her, as we missed each other the last time I was in California.
I really don't know how I'm going to handle all of this joy in four days. Hopefully I don't "crawl up on the bed and have a full-blown panic attack." Oh, Kristen.
I am going to Disneyland on my birthday. Again...
I am going to Disneyland on my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so excited it is unbelievable. Kinda like Kristen Bell when she found out a sloth would be at her birthday party. Since 25, birthdays have become a little hard to handle. But 28 is going to be the BEST birthday EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And this is what I want to wear. I really want red pants. Really bad. I don't know why, exactly, I just do. And I found these at Charlotte Russe. I must buy them. (Digression: I already have the jacket, but it needed it to complete the ensemble in Polyvore. Further Digression: I made this set days ago and didn't know it posted to my blog. I always forget to uncheck the "blog it" button. So annoying. )
I really don't know how I'm going to handle all of this joy in four days. Hopefully I don't "crawl up on the bed and have a full-blown panic attack." Oh, Kristen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
