I'm skipping ahead. One day I'll tell you all about her birth story. One day soon. But for now, I want to talk about being a mom. This is Avaya. This is our miracle. Our squishy, gorgeous, miracle.
For months, years, I studied. I read, I watched, I took notes, I watched videos, I planned. It turns out, I'm built with this thing called "maternal instinct," and it's pretty rad. You guys, this girl, she's my life. She's the missing piece. For not just me, but for our family. She's the reason for everything.
Things have changed. There is no more lounging on the couch watching TV together till all hours of the night. There are no spontaneous declarations of, "Let's go to..." There is no spontaneous shower sex. Not yet, anyway. Everything is planned and scheduled and fast. I love it. We had nine years to float around, and we were both ready for our anchor.
Everything I do is faster now. I pee faster. I shower faster. I wake up faster. I eat waaay faster, which is resulting in some serious indigestion. I go to sleep faster (goodbye ambien). Everything is faster, yet I want it to be slower. Days go by so quickly and I just want it to slow down. I want to soak everything up, rewind, and pause. I want to sketch her a million times and paint her a million more.
Everything is better. Our relationship is better. My skin looks better. My days are more productive. My smile is bigger. My nerves are calmer. I thought I would be the nervous one that Spencer would have to calm, but Avaya calms me. She brings me peace, and I'm not nervous being her mom.
She is such a good baby. She took right to my strict Babywise program and is sleeping 5.5 hours through the night! I thought it would be harder, but she has made it so easy. She's a great eater. Like, really great. She was back to her birthweight within 5 days! She is sweet and happy, unless she's naked, but she's getting better at that. She's freakishly strong and will roll over any minute. She actually enjoys tummy time, and she loooooves music.
I thought everything would be harder. (I will live to regret those words, yes, I know.) But everything is perfect.