Spencer and I, while baby hungry, are not ready for parenthood. Why? We are children ourselves. I was cleaning out Spencer's scripture case and found many notes that we pass back-and-forth during sacrement. This is one from a talk during Branch Conference. If you're LDS, you understand that sometimes those stake officials are less-than-entertaining. (It's no excuse, I know, so LDS or not, judge not too harshly.)
Spencer: I know! How much longer is he gonna talk?
Me: Idk, what is he even talking about? He's not making sense. Haven't your grandparents been married 60+ years? (Apparently he made some weird remark about being married for 60 years or something...I don't remember.)
Spencer: Uh, yeah!
We pause, focusing on the talk again, but become distracted by the loud mother behind us and her husband snoring.
Me: Honey, please don't let me verbally abuse our children in church while you nap right next to me.
Spencer: K, I'll be sure to say, "Will you keep it down! I'm trying to sleep over here!!"
Me: Hey look, Jane Doe is here. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.) I forgot she worked for the stake. I wonder if she'll tell me how weird adoption is again...you know, just for reitieration.
Spencer: Yeah, she'll be like, "You don't want your family portrait to be mixed race and such. That's just tacky! And C-sections....oh...Squeezing something the size of a turkey out of your vajayjay is the ONLY way to do it!"
Me: I'm not sure we should say vajayjay in church...
Spencer: I didn't. I wrote it. ;)
Yes, we are so well-behaved and mature. Be proud, Mom, be proud.