Friday, April 3, 2009

righteous

Spencer and I, while baby hungry, are not ready for parenthood. Why? We are children ourselves. I was cleaning out Spencer's scripture case and found many notes that we pass back-and-forth during sacrement. This is one from a talk during Branch Conference. If you're LDS, you understand that sometimes those stake officials are less-than-entertaining. (It's no excuse, I know, so LDS or not, judge not too harshly.)

Me: TIME!
Spencer: I know! How much longer is he gonna talk?
Me: Idk, what is he even talking about? He's not making sense. Haven't your grandparents been married 60+ years? (Apparently he made some weird remark about being married for 60 years or something...I don't remember.)
Spencer: Uh, yeah!
We pause, focusing on the talk again, but become distracted by the loud mother behind us and her husband snoring.
Me: Honey, please don't let me verbally abuse our children in church while you nap right next to me.
Spencer: K, I'll be sure to say, "Will you keep it down! I'm trying to sleep over here!!"
Me: Hey look, Jane Doe is here. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.) I forgot she worked for the stake. I wonder if she'll tell me how weird adoption is again...you know, just for reitieration.
Spencer: Yeah, she'll be like, "You don't want your family portrait to be mixed race and such. That's just tacky! And C-sections....oh...Squeezing something the size of a turkey out of your vajayjay is the ONLY way to do it!"
Me: I'm not sure we should say vajayjay in church...
Spencer: I didn't. I wrote it. ;)

Yes, we are so well-behaved and mature. Be proud, Mom, be proud.

3 comments:

she's beauty and she's grace said...

Haha, I love it! I do things like that all the time and end up feeling guilty later!

I'm so excited for your surgery and hope it helps. I'm praying for you and fasting as well. I love you so, so, SO much!

JeriLynn said...

Hilarious!

I can't believe Jane Doe lectured you on those things! That's just pathetic.

Candace Thomas said...

LOL. Should I feel bad that I am a parent and do say those things in church? We don't come prepared with paper, good thinking. And you can add me to Jane Doe's naughty list because poor Jake didn't come out this vajayjay!