Last weekend began with two Tylenol PMs, tear-stained pillows, and a "nap" from 2-10pm. It ended Sunday night with me in bed, all toasty warm, watching my husband sleep, and crying at how grateful I am that he married me, of all people.
Friday, Spencer came home not to dinner on the table, or even in the oven, but to me semi-unconscious and disheveled. Talk about "wife fail". Instead of rolling his eyes, he put me in some more comfy clothes, tucked me in, and made dinner while I slept. Then, after cleaning up, watched the Wizard of Oz with me. After witnessing me break down a little at bedtime, he offered me a beautiful Priesthood blessing, then held me and reassured me that everything would be okay.
Somehow, on Saturday morning I still woke up in a foul mood, so he turned on Christmas music and we decorated for the holidays. I was immediately elated.
That night we hitched a ride to our cousin's wedding reception with Brock and Faye and met Summer and Micah there. After the reception I went to hug Summer goodbye and she said, "No, we're all going to dinner!" Spencer and I had a moment of panic, and reading it on our faces, all siblings said at the same time, "We're buying you dinner." (Sidenote: Due to some recent developments, we're poor. Really poor.) They wouldn't take no for an answer. While sitting in a corner booth at Winger's with our siblings and the greatest joy in my life, my four nieces, I couldn't help but get a little teary-eyed at how grateful I was. Not just for the delicious free meal, although that was great, but for the opportunity to get out, and the company of the people we ALWAYS have the most fun with. The air above our booth might as well have been pink with little hearts floating around in it.
When I imagined my married life, my siblings-in-law were never part of the equation, (perhaps because I mostly dated only children...Italian only children...weird...but I digress) but I can't imagine life without them. I have two sisters and two additional brothers who have become, without a doubt, my best friends. As for the offspring they've produced, well, that's an entirely different grateful post.
To top it all off, my grandma made dinner for us this week. Twice. And she's the best cook ever.
I can't stop thinking about how grateful I am for my family. Especially my husband. He is every fantasy I ever had come true, only better. And he's mine, forever. There isn't any drama, no fighting for him, no worrying that he'll disappear (which is sometimes still hard to get used to). When I'm down, he's up, no matter what. He's the epitome of patience and selflessness. He's tender and kind. He's a wonderful listener and always knows what my heart needs to hear. He's hardworking and positive. He's strong and faithful. He's my best friend; the one who I can just give a look to and he can read my mind and we burst out laughing. He's the one I have the most fun with, people watching, being goofy, purposely embarrassing ourselves, or doing things that most others would think are just too much work. He really is the other half of my soul. And to top it off, he's just so damned handsome. And I love him. A lot.
This recent economic experience has helped me get on the path back to where I needed to be all along. When I was younger and dealing with trials, it was instinctual to rely fully on the Lord. But as I've gotten older and aquired more responsibility, that gets harder. So does faith. That's when my husband jumps in and reminds me that if we put ALL of our trust in the Lord, everything will work out.
I've been reading this book, A Lineage of Grace. It's about five biblical women and their stories- Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary. Their unshaken faith is inspiring and humbling. They don't have faith that if they pay their tithing that both they and their husband will get great jobs, be able to buy a house and put their names in for adoption, they have faith that if they trust in the Lord, he will provide not according to our plan, but to His.
Tamar was granted a son, but not by a loving husband, Rahab was granted safety, but her city was destroyed, Ruth was granted love and provision, but after her husband died, Bathsheba was granted forgiveness, but her husband died and David and her son's kingdom fell, Mary's son will reign as King, but not in her lifetime. I started thinking about all of the "buts" in their stories...the differing of their plan and God's. One thread of commonality runs through all of them: Though much more difficult, the Lord's plan is always necessary for growth, and therefore better, than ours. Mary's son may not have reigned as a warrior king over Israel during His life, but He will reign as Eternal King over all of the Earth someday soon. He just had to live His life first.