Thursday, January 28, 2010

get down!!

Now that you're inside my head, get down!  I'm pretty sure it's going to explode.  Is it weird that I considered whether or not I had enough energy to type that exclamation point?

I am so tired.  I haven't showered in two days.  All I have energy for are sponge baths and frequent  babywiping.  I worked all of this weekend, trying to produce a quality document for a quality philanthropist which might land me a job working from home.  Please pray.

Yes, I'm so tired, but when bed time comes, so do the anxiety attacks.  Um, by the way, I thought we were done with those.  Remember, high school ended and I stopped having them?  Oh, my new job brings with it feelings reminiscent of high school?  Crap. 

So, I don't sleep.  That's bad when you're epileptic.  And then a day like today comes when your brain feels scrambled and you're throwing up and you have to call in to work and tell them you need to take a day off to sleep.  Yeah....they don't always get that so sometimes you say you have food poisoning.  Either way it means bed and snuggles with Belle all day, with intervals of feeding and pottying Belle, water and pills, brushing your teeth and washing your face, and trying to accomplish something. 

On an up note, Monday night we babysat two of my favorites.  Miley, 4 and Kate, 1.  I took my camera but forgot about it.  While Uncle Spence played blocks with Kate, me and Mi ate our dinner.

Suddenly, she glanced down at the family room, put her chin in her hands, and said, "That mirror is really dusty.  I should really clean it tomorrow." 

"YOU?" I laughed. 

"Yes.  I help Mommy clean so I can be like Cinderella.  I'll teach you how to clean it after dinner, ok?"

Then, when discussing how old each of us would be on our next birthdays, we started counting.

She got to 39 and said, "What comes next?"

Not buying it, I said, "You know what comes next!"

Sighing, she said, "40.  I'll do the rest of the numbers next time you come to my house.  By the way, I LOVE your flower earrings.  (Hug) You're always like a princess.  So is Belle, cause of her name."

"I know, I want to name our baby girl Ophelia or Odette or Giselle, because they sound like princesses, but Uncle Spence won't let me.  What do you think?"

"Why doesn't he want your baby to be a princess?!" she asked, shocked.

"I have NO idea!" I said.

After dinner we had family home evening and watched The Princess and the Frog.  So cute.  But, (spoiler alert!) when the bug dies, it is so sad!  I looked over at Mi and her little face was all contorted like mine gets when I'm trying not to cry.  It was the saddest, cutest thing I've ever seen.  I held out my arms and she immediately plopped on my lap and buried her face in my arm.  Is it mean that I like when she gets sad or hurt and I can cuddle her for extended periods of time?

I also got to rock Kate until she got sleepy.  People always tell me, "Don't rock your babies to sleep or you'll have to do it every single time."  Guess what?  Don't care!  I'm totally rocking my babies to sleep until they're 21.  I'm getting better at the swaddling thing my sister swears by too.  Kate looked like a little cozy baby burrito.  A lot of people don't get the swaddling thing and think it's mean, but I totally get it.  One, it's safer, and two, if I could swaddle myself every night, I totally would. 

By the way, Spencer is gonna be the best dad EVER.  He is so cute.  They LOOOVE him and he has such good paternal instincts.  I haven't ever had to tell him not to do something or how to do something.  I gave him a very brief lesson on diaper changing before me and Summer left the girls in his charge to see New Moon months ago...but it was like, "The tabs go in the back."  He's so good!  He doesn't panic when they're fussy.  He knows to check for a dirty diaper, teething, fever, or simply change positions and make funny faces.  He's even good at sticking to his guns about eating all of dinner, or time for bed...which is hard to do with Miley's cutest little face and beautiful batting eyelashes.

My heart was warmed when upon returning from New Moon, we found the three of them cuddled on the couch, Kate burrito style.  And when Miley didn't want him to leave.  But after actually witnessing his parenting skills first golly I just love him.  We're gonna make a great team. 

Oh, and Belle?  Yeah she's gonna be the best big sister ever.  Way better than I was.


Kari said...

first of all, you're a much better woman than i. refer to my post regarding crying it out. i'm very interested to see if you stick to your guns. :) especially in the middle of the night!

beck still gets swaddled for each nap and bedtime. love it.

Leslie said...

Chelsi! I am so happy you told me you have been stalking my blog - i love when someone fesses up. Makes me happy. Anyway, glad you like it. After reading some of your poetry and blogs i'm intimidated as you are an amzing writer!! Your love story on the side of your blog is so cute. .you should write your love story so I can hear all the details! Now that i know who you are.. i'm going to be stalking you too :) Have a great day!!

Candace Thomas said...

You really are the cutest thing ever. And such a princess. I totally remember meeting you in the second grade wanting to be just like you because you were such a girlie little thing (and there I was in all my tomboyness)! You are going to be the best mom ever. Even if you are a sleep deprived mom...what with all the rocking you child to sleep at night:) j/k. It's hard not to!

JeriLynn said...

Aw, you're so precious!!

I've had your blog up for the last three hours while I finished putting together a digital photo album. And your music is really depressing. I mean, it's nice and calming and sometimes a little romantic, but there were times when, as I was staring at my family pictures, I just wanted to break down and cry.

So, my recommendation is to drop all your meds and change your music!! That will fix all your problems!!!

Okay, no it won't. Sorry I suggested it. I wish it were that easy. :(

Love ya, Babe!


PS. Don't tell Spence I just called you "Babe". I don't want him getting all jealous.

Lori said...

i'm sure you are THE best auntie!

mommy princess said...

I'm sorry chicka. In regards to your crappy health fest and my financial situation... I'm dubbing January 2010 The dumpiest month this year. Wait it's the only month we've had yet this year! So Stan passed MEPS, I don't know if I should be happy or sad about that. So he'll be heading off to boot camp in the next couple of weeks. Also we have no money. I'm talking 0. I HATE BILLS. It's all a test I keep telling myself. I think both of us need a spa day! To bad it costs money. Ha Ha Ok I know it's not that funny. One thing you can be sure of...
I love your guts! BTW you and Spencer will be the cutest parents one day. Also Rock your babies all you want. It's over in the blink of an eye.

e said...

I hope you get that job! Sorry that I didn't really get back to in time.

I totally love it when my nieces will cuddle with me. And the horrible aunt that I am, I have totally scared them into snuggling. I don't care about long-term possible traumas they are just so cute! Princess and Frog totally made me sniffle too.