Monday, April 26, 2010

sorry signs on cash machines

Last week I was super mean to my husband.  He screwed up a batch of cupcake frosting for Belle's birthday party and you would've thought he threw away 500 dollars.  I snapped.  There were a few other incidences and finally, during a calm moment, he simply said, "Honey, why are you mad at me, really?"  I broke down and we discussed some feelings I've been hiding (but apparently not very well) for a while.  While we were talking through things it really struck me that I married the most patient, caring, and selfless person in the universe.  Any other man wouldn't have been able to hear "I'm mad at you because..." let alone discuss it lovingly and help me work through my feelings like a licensed therapist.  Then, after validating my feelings, he gave me his ever-familiar pep talk and told me everything was going to be okay, and that if I work on my patience, he'll make up for any lack of it.   

I'm such a planner.  I've had a 5-year plan my entire life.  And it has NEVER, ever gone according to my plan.  Yet, it still shocks me when it doesn't.  But then, five years later when my life is nowhere near what I had planned, I look back and see the rhyme and reason for it, and I'm grateful.  My new goal:  Stop planning!  Stop focusing on what I don't have yet and enjoy what I do have right now!  Like the best husband in the world.  Who loves me despite my imperfections and shortcomings, and helps me grow as a person while we grow together and our marriage is strengthened.  I really feel like that is the Lord's major reason for wanting us to marry.  We strengthen each other, we bouy each other up, we stretch each other into the best persons we can be.  And we don't let each other give up.

Sorry Signs On Cash Machines
Mason Jennings
Oh, my heart is a thoroughbred
I can't sleep in my bed
Everything is burning up inside me
I need something I can feel
Cigarettes and a driving wheel and
Oh, my God, when you cross your legs beside me
I know true love don't love like anybody else
I know your heart don't beat like anybody else
When it all comes down to kerosene
And sorry signs on cash machines
And it don't look like anything you've dreamed of
I won't let you give it up
With sorry sighs and forced bad luck
Come on baby, you know what we're made of
I know true love don't love like anybody else
I know your heart don't beat like anybody else
And all these burning battlefields are now behind us
Life has brought us here together to remind us
That love will rise above it all and just keep growing
Life keeps flowing, and every moment starts right here with us
I know true love don't love like anybody else
I know your heart don't beat like anybody else


e said...

Your relationship is an inspiration to me. Someday I hope that I'm just as lucky.

Heidi said...

That made me cry. I think you are a woman of my own soul. I have breakdowns way too often. But at least we get a good pep talk out of em, right? I'm so happy you have Spencer, and he has you. :)

mommy princess said...

How did you ever find a gay man's brain inside a stright man's body. Chels, do you know you have something that most women would kill for!? Spencer Quit being so damn amazing! You're making all our husbands look bad;) No Scratch that...Keep being your amazing self. I can't think of any girl on earth who deserves it more than Chelsi! You two are discustingly beautiful. XOXO