Thursday, April 29, 2010

what if?

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week.  I, am not technically infertile, and neither is my friend Lori, who wrote about it as well.  But we both have different health situations that will not allow us to safely carry a child.  Infertility comes in many forms and different situations.  But in the end, every situation involves the heartbreaking desire for a child and a deep sense of loss of control.  I know a lot of people who are dealing with, or have dealt with infertility.  One of them is my mom.  Both my mom and I have lost friends in the process of dealing with infertility.  Someone said my mom didn't want to ruin her perfect figure.  One person said I hate babies and that I "effed-up my own life."  They were both our best friends.  Infertility is a hard thing to swallow.  It's painful, and it's complicated.  If you're unfamiliar with infertility I encourage you, just for this week, to hop over to The R House.  She is featuring a different woman and a different journey each day this week.  It may widen your perspective, or it may make you feel better.  

My journey is just beginning, but already I have experienced every one of these "what if's" and it was my goal this year to change all of my "what if's" to the ones at the end of the video.

What IF? A Portrait of Infertility from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.

What if we all became a little more aware and a little more empathetic to infertility issues.  What if we kept our promise to mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort?  What if it eased the pain just a little?

Update: One of my friends posted this link about infertility etiquette. If your unsure about what to say or how to act around those struggling with infertility issues, here are some helpful tips about what not to do, and what to do to offer your support.

And to said former best friend, if you make a mean comment I will egg your half-of-a house and your stupid ricer.  Don't. Even. Think. About. It.


Kari said...

Love that last part. :)

Rich's said...

I LOVE that you posted this....because I think that some people really don't understand the feeling of not being able to carry a child. And on top of that, you get asked a TON of idiotic questions about adopting a child, to which you want to slap them in the face!! We still need to get together and talk adoption!! Love you tons Chels!!

Natalie | The Bobby Pin said...

Love it... I think you are so courageous for continuing on.

And I hate people and the crap they say sometimes. You'd love the doozies I got when I was getting divorced. I don't talk to those people anymore either. Not worth it.

(And I will respond to your email, but yay.)

Mr. Senator said...

What IF you're lucky enough to get to fall asleep and wake up next to the strongest, most caring, passionate, scorchingly hot, loving, inspiring, talented, courageous woman on earth?

Oh wait... I AM! (back me up folks)

You, my Dear, are going to be a bombtastic Mother. I Love You

Darci Lynne said...

I love that video Chelsi, and mostly- I love you! Heavenly Father knows your righteous desires and you will be greatly blessed for your strength, faith and courage. You are incredible. Just knowing you has blessed my life so greatly, and I know there are many who feel the same way as me. Thank you for your example. You are one of the most loving women I have ever met. You are mothering many people, young and old, through your faith, beauty, and your compassionate example. And you are an amazing wife to your husband, I am constantly trying to be more like you. I MISS YOU!

mommy princess said...

That was an eye opening video, I think I needed that bit of insite. I liked what you said about changing your what ifs. You may have just found yourself a new calling in life. I could see you uplifting and empowering so many women. Love ya.

JeriLynn said...

*Sigh* People can be such jerks. Sorry for the times I've complained about my pregnancy. I love you, dear.

Kari said...

I just now watched that video. I really liked it. (Although the camera movements made it so I couldn't focus on the issue as well.) I tried not to complain about pregnancy cause that annoyed me so much before I was even pregnant, but unfortunately it's easy to take it for granted. Sorry if I ever did though.