I don't think you realize how many aspects of your life are affected by poor health until you're finally free. Then you can see how trapped you were. When I got sick I had to concentrate on simply surviving, not keeping my figure. Now that I'm doing sooooo much better, I've been working really hard to get my life back, one step at a time. The first was my weight. Since Fall of '09 I've been working really hard. Weight Watchers, no food after nine, working out every day, etc.
Fall and Winter came and went and my Wii Fit was like, "Um, wow, you're still fat." So, I quit weighing myself. It was just discouraging. May came and my parents started asking me how much weight I'd lost. "None," I replied. "Your scale must be broken," said Dad. So, one day in May I decided to weigh myself. My Wii fit said, "You've lost 21.5 pounds since last time. Good job." I was ecstatic. I'd lost 25.5 total pounds and reached my goal weight and didn't even know it. I cried and jumped up and down and called my mom and Spencer screaming, "I did it!!! I did it!!! I weigh ____ pounds!!!! I weigh the same as I did when I got married!!!"
Now, since I now weigh the same as I did when I got married, and I looked damn good when I got married, one would think it would be logical to come to the conclusion that I look like I did when I got married and all my old stuff will fit. Right? Wrong. I don't. It doesn't.
Sure, my clothes are too big for me, but I still don't fit into my old jeans. And as for this bikini that I wanted to wear more than anything in the world...
Not. Even. Close. I weigh the exact same as I weighed in this picture. So where, pray tell, is that body?! IT'S GONE!!! The bottoms fit me okay, but my boobs could not be contained in any of my flimsy triangle and string houses. I am devastated. I was so prepared to put on my wedding dress for my niece, to wear my old jeans, to wear all my cute old bikinis and lingerie. To feel good about my body. None of that is happening. I'm still rolling on dubs. Just call me Tits McGee.
Now, don't give me any crap, okay? I know everyone wants big boobs. But DOUBLE D'S?! Nobody but strippers and Heidi Montag (actually, she wants H's for Heidi) want double d's. You know why? They make you look fat and NOTHING fits properly. My mom took me bikini shopping and I was thisclose to ripping the flesh from my body. No bikini for me. Why? They will not be minimized. WILL. NOT. So, for the first time since I was like 12, I got a stupid one piece. It looks like this:
Ps. To my grammar nazi friends, if the pluralization of cup sizes does not call for an apostrophe, please forgive me. I tried to look it up, but to no avail.