To borrow from Natalie, The Academy Awards are like my Superbowl. I could eat that red carpet right up. Last night I watched my recording and took notes on my best and worst dressed for this post. I am that lame. Oh well...
Number One is Cate Blanchett in Givenchy. Mostly because I expect perfection from her and instead it made me say, "Whaaat the hell....?"
Like seriously, what the hell? The top reminds me of posterboard with like...jelly beans glued to it. Ugh.
Number Two is Marissa Tomei in a 1950 couture Charles James dress from Lily et Cie.
I love vintage. And Lily is VERY exclusive. But this is so ill-fitted. It gives her bulges in places she probably doesn't even have them! And the hair...oh the hair!! It's so so sooooo bad...so wrong. So messy. So not vintage. So ew.
Number Three is Scarlett Johanssen in Dolce & Gabbana.
Again, I expect perfection from her and instead it looks like a really, really, really old table cloth. And the hair.
Number Four is Florence Welch in Valentino. She looks like she belongs in a haunted house. Dead sister-wife anyone?
Number Five is Melissa Leo in this Elvis costume by Mark Bouwer. It looks like a vinyl tablecloth ontop of gold glitter. Sick.
Jennifer Lawrence in Calvin Klein.
This landed her on many best-dressed lists, but not mine. Can anyone hear the Baywatch theme song playing? When your being nominated for an Oscar, glam it up for hell sakes! Fail.
Nicole Kidman wore this weird cross between a kimono and an altar cloth by Dior. Once again, I expect perfection from Nic.
Number One is Halle Berry in Marchesa. Stunning. Stu-nning.
Number Two is Sandra Bullock in Vera Wang. To quote Joan Rivers, "She might as well have worn a sandwich board that said 'Eff you Jesse James.'"
I just have to mention her dress last year because it tops my all-time best dressed Oscar list.
Number Three is Jennifer Hudson in this stunning tangerine dress by Versace.
Number Four is Mila Kunis in Elie Saab. She looks like a goddess. The only reason she didn't land higher is because she kept adjusting all night.
Number Five is Helen Mirren in Vivian Westwood couture. Oh my goodness...If I looked this pretty at 65 I would stand in front of a mirror at all times.
Number Six is Hailee Stainfeld in an age-appropriate Marchesa dress. Absolute perfection from head to toe. She is so adorable. She helped design it too! It was much more sparkley on film.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Calvin Klein:
And Camila Alves in Kaufmanfranco: