Saturday, April 9, 2011

husbands and beauty

I had a conversation today with the women in my family about painful things we do to enhance our beauty; botox and collagen injections, ear piercing, tattooed eyeliner and eyebrows, fake eyelashes.  My grandma said she really wanted collagen injections to make her lips bigger.  "I've always had thin lips,"  she said.  I remembered the last time I saw her, my lips were swollen from allergies and she said, "Oh!  Your grandpa would like it if that happened to me.  He likes big lips."  I made the connection.

Beauty is about confidence, but it's also about approval.  And whose approval do we seek most?  Our spouse's.  I started thinking if there was anything I knew Spencer liked that I didn't have.  I couldn't think of anything, but all of my other boyfriends were obsessed with my eyes.  OBSESSED.  Spencer likes them and thinks they're beautiful, but he doesn't have the same obsession.  (I think it's because he is color blind and can't see green...haha)   Anyway, it bothers me a little.  Is that why I'm suddenly interested in Latisse?

I thought of some other things too.  I don't cut or dye my hair because Spencer likes it long and blonde, but so do I.  If he liked short dark hair, would I cut it and dye it for him?  Would I feel beautiful when I looked in the mirror or only when he looked at me?

There is definitely what I call a Shrek and Fiona effect.  Shrek made Fiona feel beautiful as an Ogere because he liked her better that way....not just because he loved her anyway.  I lament about my curves sometimes and Spencer tells me he isn't attracted to stick figures and 12-year-old boy bodies.  He likes a woman with boobs and hips and a booty.  And I believe him.  And now, I don't lament much over my curves...I'm even starting to think they're beatiful too.  Now, he may be straight-up lying to me...but it works.

Spencer also told me once that he "liked my long, graceful neck."  Do I wear my hair up more often?  Yep.

We all want to be trophy wives. What do you do to be attractive to your spouse?  What do you do to be attractive to yourself?  Which percent is higher?  I think mine is about 40/60.  It might even out if he tells me something new.   Speaking of trophy wives, these are actual trophies you can have custom ordered from


artist said...

A guy who makes me feel beautiful? alas. alas. I believeth that he hath perished.

But on a positive note I think I should award myself this trophy :)

Ruby in the Rough said...

You're lucky, Chels, to have your curves top and bottom-- I only get the curvy tush going on! (And right now my breasts are lopsided, too, because Marshall REFUSED to nurse on my right side about three months ago.) My husband loves my body, though, and he likes my hair long-- just like I do. I'm grateful to have a husband who accepts my very imperfect body.

On a side note, I read recently that Utah--SLC specifically-- is one of the vainest places in the US. Have you noticed the billboards in Northern Utah? Every sign that isn't advertising ERs or lawyers advertises some sort of plastic surgery. I don't see that here in WA. It makes me sad to see all that pressure on Utah women to be perfect.