Monday, August 18, 2014

feeding the bug

I've been experiencing a serious case of writer's block. Perhaps because things have been so crazy that I haven't had time to feed my writing bug. There's so much to say that I don't know how to even begin to say it all.  We were approved on July 16th! Our profile went live, and after that day, there was no more that I could do. It was so weird. After 7 months of a long list of things to do every single day, I had nothing I needed to, or could do. Every morning I'd wake up and read our profile and make sure everything looked perfect, then I'd get a little stir-crazy. I think Heavenly Father decided to help me out because since then, I've barely had time to be on my computer at all! I've been getting a lot of cake orders lately. I've made a Ducati cake, a fishing cake, a Buzz Light Year Cake, and a Hulk/Spiderman cake. ...Updating my cake website will have to wait for another day! We also shot a video for our adoption profile. I think it will be super cute.
I've also been keeping busy babysitting a lot, going to fairs and festivals and even rode an elephant!

My latest adventure was volunteering as an usher and then getting to clean the Ogden temple.  We cleaned the baptistry.  It is beautiful!  I went with my Young Women.  Those girls are amazing.  Their attitudes and excitement amazed me, even more than the beauty of the temple.  When I was a teenager, I didn't know people like them, and I was a really good kid.  They amaze me with their standards and attitudes.  They were talking about how excited they were for spring break because a bunch of them are taking a temple tour across the state.  What kind of kids do that?  My young women, that's who.

I worry about the kind of world my kids are going to live in by the time they're teenagers, but it seems to me that each generation has the power to be stronger and more resilient.  I can only hope I can raise kids who as amazing as these girls.

Speaking of me raising kids...can you believe that it could finally happen?  We're finally approved!!  It's so surreal. I've been thinking a lot about my birthmother lately.  Wondering if she would be excited for me and proud of me, what advice she'd give me.  It's been so nice having my mom to talk to through this process.  She knows exactly what we're going through and whenever I get discouraged she says the right things.  The other day she told me, "You don't need to appeal to everybody.  You just need one."  I keep praying for that "just one."  We pray for her all of the time, that she knows we love her, that she'll have peace, and of course, that she'll be guided to us.  This has been such a beautiful process and our friends and my family have been so supportive and loving, and we know it's only going to get better.  As an adopted child, I have a unique perspective and know what a miracle adoption is first-hand.  But, I look forward to being on the other end.  I'm so ready to be a mother, and I can't wait to meet the woman who will give me that opportunity through such a selfless act.  We love her so much already.

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